Doctors Heal the Hurting
by GingerIntelligence
Summary: With Yuki found and May gone, the F2 has a rocky road ahead of him, but finds the care his girlfriend could never give in the most obvious of unexpected places. Inspired by Series 24, Episode 36. Yuki/Lenny slash, multi-chapter fic, rating for safety.
1. Your Biggest Mistake

After Yuki's return on last night's Casualty (08/05/10), I thought I'd try my hand at some fanfic for it, as it is supremely rare and a fandom I am becoming increasingly more interested in.

The result of this new pondering contemplation is what looks set to become a chapter fic of possibly epic proportions, solely because as of yet I have less of a storyline and more a strange collection of bittersweet scenarios swirling around in my head, none of which I have yet written down.

I've decided to waltz unprotected into a new fandom and a new (non-existent) pairing at the same time; this is a Yuki/Lenny slash fic *gasp*. If you're not into slash or if the idea of Reid and Lyons together makes you want to projectile vomit, please turn back now so I don't feel bad/silly/something equally traumatic.

I've chosen this pairing because 1) I don't believe for 2 seconds that Yuki is straight, b) May's torn him apart over the last few episodes and he deserves some decent lovin', XVI) I wanted to strip away all of the bullcrap he comes out with sometimes and see more of the concerned!Lenny we got in last night's ep, and finally D] I AM CLEARLY STRANGE AND NEED AN ODD PAIRING TO GET ME THROUGH MY EXAMS THIS WEEK.

Constructive criticism is not only welcomed but clawed at desperately with neglected-from-fic-writing hands.

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Casualty or any of its affiliated characters or trademarks, all of these are the sole property of the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC). This is a work of fiction and no copyright infringement is intended. I make no profit from this story or its publication.**

Title: Doctors Heal the Hurting

Pairing: Yuki/Lenny

Hope you enjoy the story! :D

**EDIT:-** Chapter title changed to fit with rest of the story and slight error in Casualty!canon rectified. The title could be better, but there isn't a lot of imagery/symbolism to work with from what I've already written and as I wasn't inspired by a song for this first chapter, it was difficult to think of one suitable for it. Lyrics taken from 'Your Biggest Mistake' by Ellie Goulding (Lenny thinks leaving Yuki was May's best decision and her biggest mistake).

^^ 20/06/10 ^^

Chapter I – And of All the Things You Never Explained, You Know This is Your Biggest Mistake

At the end of a quite frankly micky-taking day in ED, Lenny Lyons could think of one thing and one thing only. It wasn't how tired and stressed he was, or how grateful he was that the anthrax escapade was all just a cheap hoax, or how much he wanted to punch whomever's idea it was in the face. He wasn't thinking about the kid who'd had a far-too-near to-death experience, or his psycho mother, or the other nut case of a patient he'd been locked in a room with all day. He wasn't even thinking about his best friend and housemate, who'd turned up at the hospital today after being missing for God knows how long, scratching himself like a maniac and looking far more haunted than Lenny thought suited a nice guy like Yuki. One solitary thought was circling maliciously in his head.

_May Phelps is a complete and utter bitch._

He liked its malevolence, the strange way it slotted itself into a pocket of his mind where it did not belong. He liked it because it served as a worthy distraction from his worry for Yuki; hating the woman that put the poor boy in that state was far better than fretting over said state itself, irritating a damaged man and driving himself slowly insane. Yuki had loved May, really, truly loved her, and she'd ignored him and then pitied him, humoured him and then manipulated him, lied to him through her bloody teeth and now, all she could do was leave. With no apology, no explanation, nothing but Lenny's spite ringing in her ears, she'd left the man she broke to fall apart in peace.

Lenny the friend was enraged. Lenny the protector was glad. Lenny as a whole, in fact, thought buggering off was the best thing May had done since she met Yuki.

Lenny the F2 made up his mind, and jogged to keep up with Zoe as she made her way out of the reception area.

#####

"Excuse me! Dr Hanna?"

Zoe turned and was confronted by an unusually awkward Lenny, who was somehow managing to look genuinely humble, apologetic _and_ concerned all at once, without appearing to be severely constipated. Just as she was over-riding her shock and confusion at this impossible phenomenon, the F2 launched into a speedy dialogue, his tone pleading.

"Just a quick question before you leave, Doctor," he said. "Y'know Yuki ... is he going to be alright?"

Zoe put a hand on the Scotsman's arm, feeling sympathy for his worry. "He's in a bit of a bad way, but he'll be recovered before you know it. He's only got a few wounds, none of which seem deep or infected, and the sickness will stop significantly after a few days of strong antibiotics-"

"I wasn't talking about his wounds," Lenny interrupted, looking anxious and oddly vulnerable. "I meant ... will he be okay ... y'know ... mentally."

Dr Hanna faltered then exhaled strongly, squeezing his shoulder then letting go.

"I don't know, Lenny," she mused, gently. "I really don't know. But he's strong, stronger than he knows, and I think he'll come out of this even stronger. He needs his friends with him, Lenny. Without May, you're all Yuki's got left. He needs his friends."

Lenny nodded, a new determination brewing along with a lump in his throat, small enough to deny but not to ignore.

"Yeah, about that ..." He hesitated. "Look, can I stay over with him tonight? His parents won't be here 'til tomorrow, and I don't want him by himself in this state, not after today, not after ... her."

The consultant opened her mouth, doubt in her eyes, but he cut across her before she could begin.

"Please."

"Lenny ..."

"_Please_, Doc. I can't ... _we_ can't leave him with no one."

"Look, I'd love to say yes, but you've had a long day, the best thing you can do for Dr Reid is rest and then-"

"He needs his friends. I'm his friend, aren't I?"

Hanna narrowed her eyes, then rolled them, smirking slightly in a kind way.

"_Fine_. I'll tell Mr Jordan he's got an overnight visitor. But you stay, Lenny, on my conditions and my conditions alone. One - you _look after him_."

"Of course," he beamed, rocking on the balls of his feet with his hands clasped in front of him.

"Two - you don't pressure him into talking about it, or talking about anything, for that matter. Stay silent all night if you have to."

"I understand," he said quickly, and the worry for Yuki she saw in his eyes cemented her trust in him.

"And three," Zoe fixed her gaze on him, seriousness evident. "If anything seems like something you would normally say, _do not say it_. You're not exactly the king of Tact; I doubt you're his first choice for the bedside vigil, wouldn't you agree?"

Lenny nodded earnestly.

"Got it. Nice gob or no gob."

Dr Hanna nodded wryly and then turned, swinging her bag over her shoulder and heading for the exits.

#####

Lenny stood outside Yuki's cubicle, mulling over how best to behave when he finally stopped dithering and entered, already. _Nothing grim, not too cheerful. Don't just say nothing, don't talk for the sake of it. Let the Reidster start the conversation,_ he thought. He exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose. _Easier thought than done. _

When he finally pulled back the curtain ten minutes later, the lump decided to swell.

Yuki was curled under the sheets on the bed like a child, fast asleep with his left fist curled up under his chin; his chest rising and falling erratically due to respiratory problems he was clearly suffering with. His curly hair, still slightly damp, fell around his face, thick and dark against his unhealthily pale skin. Tear tracks were barely visible on his ashen cheeks, and his glasses seemed to magnify the tiny droplets that still trickled half-heartedly from his bruised and swollen eye, sat skewed at an odd angle across the bridge of his nose. His hand was so tightly clamped around the blankets that covered him, the knuckles were white under the blood.

Lenny swallowed shakily, adjusting his friend's glasses so that they sat just right and then lowering himself into the chair by the bed. He looked across at the other man's face. Placing his left hand on the bed a hair's breadth from Yuki's right, he closed his eyes purposefully and prayed that his sleep would be peaceful.

Staying silent all night wouldn't be difficult, now that Yuki had stolen all of his words.

**Thanks for reading! :]]**

**Please review; you won't get cookies, real or virtual, but it will make you a jazzier person, for sure. xD**

**(( Also, *wow* for 1,150 words in just over an hour. :O ))**


	2. Science and Progress

**Author's Note: I promised myself that I'd think of my own chapter headings, but I just can't seem to; this instalment's heading is shamelessly stolen from the beautiful song 'The Scientist' by Coldplay. I thought it would be strangely fitting for Yuki here, and also I love it. xD**

**Hope you enjoy the chapter!!**

Chapter II – Questions of Science, Science and Progress

Yuki stirred to the white sterility of a hospital cubicle and the feeling of someone touching his hand. Or rather, his hand touching someone.

He blinked slowly, disorientated, and turned to see whose fingers he was grasping; a glance to his right showed Lenny, neck rolled back in an awkward position as he dozed with his mouth wide open. His head was angled towards the bed, as if he had unceremoniously fallen into the land of Nod while watching Yuki's rest there.

Eyes behind thick lenses and frames dropped to the hospital sheets, to the hands so earnestly clasped together there. Yuki had somehow managed to lace his fingers through those of his friends, intertwining their digits closely and then clinging on tight. Vague embarrassment seeped through the F2, almost imperceptible through layers of nausea, confusion and fatigue. Embarrassment not for a gesture of affection, but for a gesture of vulnerability.

He reluctantly disentangled his fingers from Lenny's and sat up straight in the bed; crossing his legs and turning to get a better look at the Scot. Though he hadn't said much since he'd arrived back at the ED, and all he had said was some stuff about 'blood' and 'clotting' and 'aggregation', he'd been thinking an awful lot about things less scientific. Things like 'May' and 'being lost' and 'Lenny' and 'being found'.

A lot of people thought Yuki was unsociable. They thought this because, the majority of the time, Yuki was unsociable. But with the right people, with Lenny, with Kieron, with _May_, he was a friendly and soft person, perhaps not in the middle of the action but involved nonetheless. It was true that even with mates he wasn't particularly talkative, more prone to nodding than to voicing an opinion, but it didn't matter. Because they were together and he liked their company and that was enough for them.

Looking at Lenny, Yuki sort of wished he was talkative, that he started the conversations and cracked the jokes; that he wasn't the sort of person that looked uptight even when he was comfortable. He wondered why Lenny was friends with him, why he'd stay the night at work to watch over a damaged geek who barely even spoke to him, one of his best friends. He sort of wished he was talkative. But as he turned over onto his side, hoping for a few more hours of blissful, warm, _clean_ sleep, he figured it was probably for the best that he wasn't. Lenny did enough talking for seven people, let alone two. And when push came to shove, Lenny was _there_, with him.

And so a wry smile twisted his lips, ever so slightly, as he tumbled back into the arms of the abyss.

#####

At precisely 7:37am, Charlie Fairhead rubbed his eyes for the umpteenth time since he'd started his morning shift at 6, and smiled wearily at the small girl whose medication he had just administered. Nodding to her mother, he turned on his heel and left their cubicle, drawing the curtain across the opening before moving past the reception desk. Tess grinned brightly as he passed, and the nurse returned a half-hearted grimace as he stole a swig from her coffee mug; his mood brightened minutely and he winked cheekily when she looked affronted and whacked him upside the head with Big Mac's newspaper.

Strolling towards the next row of cubicles, he ticked the little girl's anti-histamines off the list in front of him and scanned down to find the next dosage. He found it quickly – heavily diluted morphine and antibiotics for 'Reid, Yuki'.

Charlie found the correct curtain and pulled it gently open, hoping not to wake his young colleague. He didn't, but found himself smiling fondly at the scene before him.

Yuki was sat up in bed, looking bleary-eyed but clean; he didn't exactly seem cheerful, but he was neither miserable nor deadpan, which were both good signs. A weary amusement seemed to grace his features, only just visible in the very corners of his eyes. The source of his entertainment, however small, was Lenny, pottering about the cubicle and checking monitors and drip-bags, occasionally halting his cheerful nonsense monologue to look concerned or confused by a value on a screen. The worry would quickly dissipate however, and he turned back to the man on the bed, smiling in a strangely restrained way and clapping him lightly on the shoulder as he moved back across to the other side of the bed.

"Oh and Yuki," the blond was saying. "Dr Hanna says we need to check out that cut on your head, see if it needs sticky stitches. We are gonna need to do some _serious_ combing of that hair if we wanna get anywhere near your scalp."

There was no reply from the bed, where Yuki was sat staring into space, a small frown creasing his forehead just above his eyebrows. Lenny turned to him, raising his.

"Yuki?"

"Mmm?" He glanced at him vaguely, as if pulled from a dream.

"We need to comb your hair, man." He was fiddling with the pillows behind his head, trying to adjust without seeming to fuss. He frowned slightly himself at his friend's strange lack of focus, worried.

"Okay," intoned Yuki mildly, looking up and giving Lenny a tiny smile, as if assuring him that he was still there and ultimately alright. He smiled back from above him, washing tact out to sea for a few moments as he fully grasped that _Yuki was really back, really okay_; his entire face breaking out into a grin, a grin filled with relief and admiration.

"Huh-humm."

Charlie cleared his throat in the doorway, and the F2s looked up quickly towards him. He moved forwards into the cubicle and Lenny smiled at him enthusiastically, a little red around the ears for being caught out being nice; Yuki raised one hand as if to wave meekly, then dropped it to his lap before raising it again, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his index finger.

"Good morning, Dr Lyons," he said cheerfully, taking the clipboard hanging from the end of the bed and comparing its details to those on his list. "Dr Reid."

"Morning, Charlie," rasped Yuki, coughing slightly when the words caught in his throat. "L .. Le ... Lenn-y, can you p-pass me that glass of water p-please?"

"Sure, man," he replied, hurrying to pass him the paper cup and waiting gently for him to hand it back. He did so, smiling softly.

Lenny gazed down at him, almost anxious in demeanour.

"I'm fine," his patient whispered, slightly exasperated. "You don't need to look so worried."

Charlie felt as if he were interrupting something, and had to put in a significant amount of effort to refrain from laughing. "Right. Well, Yuki, considering you've only had a day's worth of recovery, you're already making excellent progress. Dr Lyons, I think we might need that water back for these antibiotics ..."

Lenny passed the cup back and set about sterilising the needle Charlie had brought for the morphine, filling it with a diluted solution of the drug and re-fastening the vial securely. He glanced up at Yuki in time to see him swallow the second pill, and handed the needle to the nurse standing in front of him.

"Okay, inner elbow please, Dr Reid."

The young man turned his arm so that the pale skin on its underside was exposed to Charlie, who squinted slightly as he promptly found a suitable vein and made to inject the painkiller. However, when the needle first broke the skin, Yuki winced and jumped unexpectedly, jerking his arm back away from the morphine, eyes wide with fear.

Charlie exchanged a look with Lenny, who stepped forward hesitantly, unease in his eyes. "Yuki?"

The man on the bed was breathing shallowly, eyes flicking between his friend and the small scratch on his arm, made where he'd dragged the needle through the skin before it had dislodged itself.

"Sorry," he mumbled, and avoided Charlie's eyes. "I haven't had an injection in ages, I just sort of ... I ... I panicked."

Lenny's eyes softened, and Fairhead could see how much the two boys really did care for each other. The arrogant blond seemed to be seeing his bookish friend through new eyes – it was as if he was seeing real pain for the first time in his life.

#####

Lenny was suddenly hit by how terribly vulnerable Yuki Reid really was. His eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with deep grey shadows, and his hair really did need brushing, clogged as it was with dirt and blood. His lungs were a mess from sleeping rough in the cold, his breathing even more laboured due to his sudden outburst. The poor guy had been wandering the streets for the past few weeks, thirsty and lost and consumed with guilt over something he'd really had no part in; it was no wonder he'd freaked out. Lenny couldn't remember the last time he'd seen anyone so fragile. The F2 in front of him look like a piece of porcelain in a vice-like grip. He was still strong, still together, but any minute now he could crack.

#####

"Okay. Lenny, maybe you might want to try this time?" Charlie questioned softly, holding the newly sterilised needle out towards him.

Lenny swallowed, looking baffled, and then nodded strongly, and taking the needle moved to stand on Yuki's other side. He stood as close as he could, and looked gently into the other man's eyes.

"Do you want me to, Yuki man?"

They both smiled at the ease in which the old colloquialism came back, and Yuki even managed a strangled chuckle. He bit his lip, staring at Lenny, and then slowly nodded. Lenny put a large hand on the shoulder furthest from him.

"Y'sure?" He looked more scared than the bespectacled man.

Yuki nodded again, this time more fiercely, strangely looking just as Lenny had barely a minute previously; determined. Charlie watched from the foot of the bed as the standing trainee took the other arm, the one he hadn't attempted to inject, and slowly positioned the needle above a prominent purple vein on Yuki's inner elbow. Gently, he allowed the point to break the skin, and then looked up to meet his friend's eyes, staring into them intently as he tried to muster up a comforting smile. Then, while Yuki was still looking up at him, concentrating on his housemate's face, he pushed the plunger, injected the morphine and removed the needle, all without Yuki noticing.

Yuki looked away abruptly, and Lenny giggled nervously, binning the needle and running a hand over his face and up through his hair. "Piece of cake, man."

Without looking at the boy in glasses, he quickly set about getting him to hold a piece of cotton wool soaked in anti-bacterial fluid over the tiny prick in his arm, averting his eyes and nervously pulling on his earlobe. Charlie bit his lip in amusement, and excused himself as discreetly as possible.

And if on his way out he saw Lenny pretending not to fuss over the scratch from the first attempted injection, or heard the smile in Yuki's voice as he whispered "Thanks", or heard Lenny whisper "Whatever" far more fondly than he would have ever thought possible, then he just about bit back his real reply when Tess asked him what he was being so smiley about.

**Thank you so much to anyone that's read this far! Please review so I know you've read, even if it's just a line on something you particularly liked or a musing (a kind one, though) on the pairing; I'd love to know what people think of my venture into this fandom. :D**

**Do you like all-seeing!Charlie?? I like him, I think I'll make his input a regular thing. [Plus possible feisty!Tess in chapters to come – oh how I spoil you!! **** ]**

**I am LOVING writing this story already, the typing is addictive. 3 **

**.GingerIntelligence.**

**xx**


	3. In the Hollows of my Eyelids

**A/N: This chapter contains mixed perspectives, though it is all still in third person. The italicised section in the middle is a sort-of-Yuki!POV flashback of the shower scene from the original ep (S24E36), complete with original quotes.**

**Title for this chapter comes from the hauntingly poetic 'Blinding' by the gorgeous Florence and the Machine. I thought it was an appropriate sentiment for the nature of Yuki's emotions this chapter, both positive and negative; utterly consuming. All credit for these lyrics go to Florence and the Machine, just as the lyrics from 'The Scientist' last chapter go entirely to Coldplay. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Hope you enjoy this instalment ! :D xx**

Chapter III – Felt it in my Fists, in my Feet, in the Hollows of my Eyelids

Nimble fingers carded gently through thick dark locks, and Yuki sighed virtually imperceptibly as he leant back against his pillows; Lenny combing his hair was the first piece of affection, the first piece of _care_, he'd experienced for weeks. His eyelids fluttered closed and he realised how tired he was, the careful but firm nature of his friend's ministrations lulling him back to sleep. He summoned up the energy to open his eyes enough to peer up at Lenny through heavy lids, lifting the corners of his lips in a feeble attempt to say 'thank you'. The hands at his head stilled and he smiled back, miming the closing of his own eyes with two fingers, as if indicating that his patient should do the same. Yuki chuckled throatily, but couldn't manage to make any noise. When the laugh dissolved into a drawn-out yawn, he accepted defeat and settled down, preparing to rest. In a blurry sort of daydream, all he could feel was Lenny's hands on his hair, and all he could hear was their slow breathing mingling into one sound.

#####

Lenny smiled fondly to himself as Yuki yawned and settled back in bed. He concentrated on the job at hand, wary not to tug too hard at the fluffy strands between his fingers, wary not to hurt Yuki. He placed the comb at the very roots of a small clump of hair, dragging it gently upwards and following it with his digits, smoothing away the static and checking for any abrasions to the scalp. Any knots he discovered were rubbed at between his thumb and index finger, the tight loops softened before the comb's plastic teeth were pulled through them. Intent as he was in his work, so focused on the hair beneath his hands and the breathing of his colleague, Lenny was completely unaware that Yuki was in another world altogether.

#####

_He didn't have to look up to see May enter the shower room, and so he didn't. Her blonde hair entered his field of vision when he glanced sideways, and he stared forward at the white tiles before him, his face impassive as water gushed over his shoulders, dripped from his eyelashes and pooled above his top lip. He was vaguely aware of Lenny behind him, turned toward the man in the shower but head down; whether in respect or deep in thought, Yuki did not know. He sensed the other man look up at May when she approached._

"_How is he?"_

_Though his expression did not change, the F2 snorted inside his head. How did he look? Despite his idea earlier having woken him substantially, he still felt somewhat unaware of where his emotions were supposed to lie, as if he were numb all over. The warmth of the shower and of his colleague's concern, however, seemed to be slowly but surely bringing the feeling back. Not all of the feeling was positive. The sensation wasn't dissimilar to the tingling experienced when walking on a foot with pins and needles; not necessarily pleasant, but a relief nonetheless._

"_Rebooting, I think. Crackin' bit of medicine he pulled off today, eh?" Lenny commented, and Yuki could almost see his eyebrows rising in reluctant acknowledgement of how impressed he was. "Yup ... Hate to say it Yuki-boy, but you finally put us two in the dark!"_

_The Scot raised his voice so the other boy could hear, and as grateful as Yuki was for the words, he knew a reaction wasn't expected of him, so he didn't give one. He thought he could get used to having a reason not to speak. _

_Realising that he was now staring without seeing, he tried to find something to focus on in front of him, if only to stop himself teetering forward in the hot spray. He really didn't want to have to be rescued from drowning by his two best friends whilst naked. Even a numb Yuki knew that now was an inappropriate time to fall unconscious. There was nothing on the wall, though, nothing to speak of at all. All the tiles were exactly the same size, exactly the same distance apart, and exactly the same shade of white. Even viewed with his blurry eye-sight, barely functioning without his glasses, he could see that. Nothing. Moving back ever so slightly into the water's path, he felt his shoulders relax, as his mind wobbled between being tense and being blank. He fixed his eyes on a water droplet running down the silver column of the shower attachment in front of him, the smallest by far and yet falling faster than any of the others. When it fell too far for him to see, he blinked and focused on the tiles again._

_All of a sudden, he was vaguely aware that he could no longer hear voices, that there was nothing but awkward silence beneath the gush of falling liquid. When he glanced out of the corner of his eyes again, he could no longer see a ponytail of light blonde hair. _

#####

"Lenny?"

Pulled from his reverie, Yuki looked up to see Lenny trapped in one of his own, and called his name softly. When he got no response, he reached up and wrapped one hand gently round his wrist, calling his attention to him before trying again.

"Lenny."

Lenny looked at him, startled, and then resumed his work, raising his eyebrows mildly.

"Yes?" he glanced back at Yuki again, questioningly. Yuki let go of his wrist.

"She's gone, isn't she." It was a statement, not a question. "May."

The blond exhaled slowly, not realising he was bothering the same patch of hair that he had been for the last ten minutes.

"Yeah," he muttered, unable to look his friend in the eyes. "Yeah, she is, and now you can start getting better, Yuki."

Yuki bit his upper lip, looking upset, but did not seem to contest the point. His eyes flickered slightly, and Lenny watched him as he twisted his hands in the sheets in his lap. He visibly swallowed, and then stared up at his colleague, looking more vulnerable than anything Lenny had ever seen. The discovered runaway's brow creased up, and he pressed his lips tightly together; he was trying desperately not to cry.

"Why did she ..." Yuki almost choked on his words, unable to carry on. He breathed deeply, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears, wide with the effort of keeping them in. "Why did she have to do it to me?

"She _knew_ how m-much I cared about her, m-made me think sh-she cared t-too ..... Why would she do that!"

"Yuki .." Lenny reached out for the boy with one hand, but he was becoming increasingly more agitated, his hands shaking now and his lips quivering with pent-up emotion.

"She made me th-think I was responsible for r-_ruining_ someone's life, filled me up with all this-" he gestured wildly in the air, as if whatever it was completely surrounded him "-this _crap_, cold and guilty and still caring so _much_, Lenny ..."

"But you don't need to feel like that anymore, Yuki, she's gone and she can't take advantage of you anymore!" The F2 raised his voice, slamming the comb down on the bedside cabinet and staring at his friend beseechingly. One hand was still stretched towards him.

"What do mean, I don't have to feel it anymore? It's all I can feel, I don't think there's anything left inside of me! And whenever someone tries to make things better, when you watch me sleep or when my mum coos about how much she's missed me, all it does is make the pain worse when I get time to think about it again!"

He gasped, choking on his tears as he reached the end of his outburst and allowing a solitary raindrop to fall down each of his now flushed cheeks, glasses ever so slightly fogged over from the moisture. Lenny stared down at him, visage screwed up in observed pain, and his voice was husky when he tried to speak.

"Please, just let me ..." he put his arms out as if to hug the other man, but didn't really know what he was actually trying to do. Yuki, however, pushed his arms away and then brought his own up about his end, using his forearms to block his face and once again scratching incessantly at imaginary irritation on his scalp; remembering both the dirt and the bittersweet tingle of Lenny's hands there.

"Please, just leave me alone. I'm sorry, but _please_."

Lenny opened his mouth, but his jaw shook and he closed it again. Yuki was sobbing now, tears cascading down his cheeks and shoulders shaking with previously suppressed feeling.

Tentatively, almost suffocated by the lump in his throat, he reached out and touched one finger to Yuki's hair. He flinched at the contact, but remained still as Lenny smoothed it down with his palm, calming it with a quiet desperation in his eyes. His patient's eyes were cast down, and still he trembled slightly, tears falling thick and fast, but he did not shrug him off again.

"No." Lenny muttered throatily. "I'm sorry."

With that he turned on his heel and walked out of the cubicle, pulling the curtain quickly but gently across after himself. Once outside, he leant against the cool concrete wall, letting his head fall back against it. The young man took one trembling breath in, and an almost sob stifled it; it was released harshly and abruptly, and he dropped his head forwards again. With one quick wipe at each of his eyes with the heel of one hand, he sniffed and then straightened, striding off down the corridor.

From the reception desk, Tess looked on in gentle concern.

**Thanks for reading chapter 3! Took a little longer, but I quite like the different perspectives and the more pronounced angst here. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.**

**Ging xD**


	4. No Standards, Morals or Ethics

**A/N: Sorry for the huge gap between now and when I last updated, have been having a busy time at school and was suffering from a lack of inspiration for what to write about next. :'( **

**So, to end the lovely holidays, I give you a small filler chapter that ended up serving a higher purpose plot-wise than I'd anticipated, so YAY! for that. :DD**

**Title is taken from a song that both reflects on Yuki's thoughts regarding Lenny's attitude and practically embodies that attitude itself; the recently discovered (by me) song by the wonderful The Blizzards, rather aptly titled 'Trust Me I'm a Doctor'. I'd thoroughly recommend giving it a listen - it's just so damn catchy! xD**

**Enjoy. :]]**

Chapter IV - I Love My Friends, 'Coz They Got No Standards, Morals or Ethics 

Yuki slumped against the wall of the toilet cubicle he was in, shivering in his thin hospital gown and absent-mindedly fingering one curl of his hair. It was soft and fluffy, soothing against the pads of his fingers following Lenny's ministrations. His breathing was deep and even.

He inwardly cringed at the thought of the young nurse stood outside the cubicle, the well-meaning nurse who'd had to take him there. He hated being so helpless, unable to get even to the _toilet_ by himself for fear of collapsing half way there. He didn't want _anyone_ ferrying him to and from the lavatory, let alone one of his many colleagues who he knew simply by face, whose voice he'd never even heard. He would've specifically asked that Lenny take him, had he not driven the Scot almost to the point of tears the night before.

Their argument – if you could even call it an argument, it was really just his outburst – had been an odd one. It was only now that Yuki realised he had not even said anything to insult his friend in any way; neither of them had offended the other throughout the entire exchange. No, Lenny had not been physically upset by anything Yuki had said or done. His pain had been caused solely by observing Yuki's. Though he was a being completely void of tact or timing, with a limited understanding of other's feelings, he was certainly aware of them, and was actually a very caring person. The fact that this care had been directed towards him only made the F2 gladder that Lenny had not been the one to leave, that Lenny was the only other F2 left with him. It also significantly magnified the guilt he felt for pushing the strawberry-blond away.

Sighing, he pushed himself up off the wall, flushed the toilet and unlatched the door, ignoring the young woman's eyes as he attempted to stumble back to bed with minimal assistance.

#####

Nick Jordan entered Dr Reid's cubicle and was surprised to see the patient's bed empty, with Dr Lyons standing next to it and staring idly at the pillow. He looked up abruptly and forced a smile when he spotted his boss.

"Mr Jordan," he exclaimed, a little too enthusiastically. "Just the man I wanted to speak to!"

"Dr Lyons!" Jordan replied, baffled. "Where is Yuki?"

"No idea," the cock-sure trainee countered, rubbing his nose with the back of his thumb, feigning nonchalance. "But_ Yuki_ is precisely who I wanted to speak to you about."

#####

When Yuki got to the curtain outside his section of the ward, he was surprised to find it drawn across and to hear raised voices from behind it. When his 'helper' made as if to step forward and pull it open, he raised a hand to halt her.

"I think I can manage from here," he muttered, jerking his head towards the curtain. "It's only a few steps, after all."

The nurse looked uncertain but nodded regardless, striding away with her clipboard hugged tight to her chest. Yuki rested one side of his body against the wall parallel to the curtain, letting it support his weight; the short walk had tired his weary body. Then he pressed his ear to the join of wall and curtain and listened.

#####

"Oh _come on_, Nick!" Lenny threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. "He's been stuck here a week! I'm not even suggesting you let him back to work, just that you let him get _off this damn ward_."

"Okay, let's get two things straight. One – it's Mr Jordan to you, alright? And two – no."

"Why not?"

"Because, Dr Lyons," Nick intoned, leaning forward and speaking as if to a four-year-old. "Yuki Reid can barely walk, and he is not yet healthy enough - _in any way_ - to go home."

"I'm his friend, Mr Jordan. I really believe it is in Yuki's best interests if-"

"Yuki should have one interest now. Getting. Better. He cannot do that without a doctor."

"He's a _doctor_ living with _another_ doctor, sir, I really think-"

"_I_ really think that you are both trainee doctors and that because of this, no matter what you think, what _I _say goes. If you truly have Yuki's best interests at heart, you will _let him heal_. And I'm not just talking about the injuries."

He raised his eyebrows significantly and Lenny swung his head up to look at the ceiling, exhaling harshly. The older man softened slightly at the sight, before turning and sweeping from the room, closing the curtain deliberately behind him.

#####

Turning from the curtain on the outside, Jordan was surprised to see the F2 he had just been arguing about slightly hunch-backed with his ear to a crack, blatantly eaves-dropping. He suppressed a smirk when Reid blushed, and nodded as indifferently as possible.

"Morning, Dr Reid." He strode away.

Yuki smiled slightly to himself as he straightened up. Though it often led to discomfort and embarrassment on his part, he did love how utterly tactless and ignorant of authority Lenny could be. It was just another of his characteristics that set him apart from Yuki, just another reminder of how contrasting a pair they were. All it did was reinforce Yuki's bafflement as to why Lenny was friends with him.

Suddenly, the curtain was pulled roughly to one side, and Lenny stood there, staring at Yuki with the blankest expression he'd ever seen. He unsuccessfully stifled a smile and watched as the tips of Lenny's ears turned a searing pink, and the taller man dropped his gaze.

"What?" he said, attempting to seem fierce but failing miserably in his embarrassment. "Can't a guy do a favour for a mate?"

He pushed past Yuki and he watched his back as he walked away, his ear-tips glowing like beacons.

"Thanks, by the way," he called after him, chuckling. He knew he was forgiven when Lenny's shoulders shook and he called back without turning to look at him.

"Eaves-dropping's a bad habit, Yuki-boy. You should knock that early."

"It's my cubicle; I can do what I like." He smiled widely as he hobbled into it and towards the bed.

His smile widened when he saw a plastic comb and a single folded sheet of paper neatly arranged on his pillow, one word scrawled as neatly as was possible on the dog-eared, lined page.

'Sorry.'

#####

**Much LOVE to anyone following this fic and apologies once again for the delay. ;D**

**Review if you heart it or hate it.**

**Ging xPP**


	5. Baby, There's a Shark in the Water

**A/N: Was spurred on to finally finish this chapter by Casualty last night, which I found horrific and wonderful all at once! (Y) (N) (Eeeeeeearrrrgghhh!)**

**I LOVED Yuki helping the dog even though he's terrified of them, and how he properly introduced himself and everything! And even though Lenny was a complete and utter ****prick**** stupid and unkind person to Yuki all episode, while at the same time blatantly caring but JUST NOT ENOUGH RIGHT NOW, LOOK AT HIM LENNY, LOOK AT HIM, I still find it beautiful and terribly bittersweet that it's Yuki's upset at being used that haunts Lenny like that; not him trying to shank him with a needle, not that he won't give him the CD, but that he feels **_**used**_**. *sighs***

**This instalment is a ****little****lot**** whole load fluffier than the ep though, and all lyrics are from 'Shark in the Water' by VV Brown.**

Chapter IV - Baby There's a Shark in the Water, There's Something Underneath my Bed

Yuki cracked one eyelid open and caught a glimpse of Lenny's gentle concern as he practically crept into his cubicle. He quickly shut it again, a small smile gracing his lips and giving him away as he desperately attempted to feign sleep. He heard Lenny's footsteps as he crossed the room and suddenly the Scotsman was painfully close, invading his personal space; he felt the other mans breath against his lips as he exhaled slowly and then whispered gently.

"I know you're awake, Yuki-boy."

Turning bright red, embarrassed by how hot under the collar Lenny's proximity had made him, Yuki opened his eyes guiltily. Millimetres in front of his own were a pair of blue eyes, twinkling with his friend's trademark mirth, slightly smug. Another, softer emotion lied beneath it though, making them shiny and wide, keeping them crinkled gently at their edges. It made Yuki's chest feel tight, and he released a breath he didn't really know he'd been holding.

"Morning, Dr Lyons," he stuttered, as nonchalantly as was physically possible.

Eyes creased almost shut in a radiant smile, pink lips curved joyously upward and dangerously close to Yuki's.

"Right back atcha, Dr Reid," he replied, throwing a wink in the F2's direction and straightening up.

Glancing away, both seemed to chuckle a little tightly, brows creased as if confused as to what had just taken place. When the man in the bed finally felt brave enough to look at Lenny again, he nervously bit his lip and gazed up at him through hooded dark lashes, hoping his friend hadn't noticed how red his skin was or how laboured his breathing had suddenly become. When he did turn his eyes back to him, however, he realised the trainee was clutching a few worn paperback books, a metal tin with the word 'COFFEE' on it, and a rustling carrier bag; a holdall on a long strap was slung over one shoulder, weighing his entire right side down so he waddled to the foot of the bed like a penguin. Yuki's face crinkled up in utter incomprehension, glasses riding up on his scrunched nose and rising comically towards his hairline. Lenny looked up from his digging through the carrier and took heed of the expression, giggling (or doing whatever the male equivalent to that is, anyway) and raising the bag by way of explanation.

"These, Yuki-boy, are _supplies_, courtesy of the Lion himself!" he grinned, somehow managing to look both unbearably smug and quite endearingly sheepish. Apart from the 'endearing' part. Lenny probably didn't even know what the word meant.

(_He's making a pretty good guess at it_, part of Yuki's brain insisted. It was the sappy, girly part anyway. The part that thinks cock-sure friends are cute. Psychotic, obviously.)

"But ..." Yuki stammered – 'supplies' didn't tell him anything, and sounded a little suspicious to boot. "I don't understa-"

"Let's have a little look at what your best pal Lenny's got hold of for you shall we?" The Scotsman ploughed on, too eager to speak to register other's words. "Right, first off, food! I've got those crisps you like, that weird muesli stuff that you crave when you're tired, Sprite, Dr Pepper and your decaf pot from the prep room."

He was lining these up on the little table-top at the end of the bed, pulling the items from the carrier and holding them up for Yuki's observation before putting them down and moving on. When he turned the coffee pot round, it was in fact his own; blue with a white sticker tacked hastily to the side, with 'Yuki's Decaf' scrawled in black marker in Lenny's crooked, cramped script. The strawberry-blond crumpled the carrier into a ball and tossed it into a random corner without looking, widening his eyes comically and then unzipping the holdall now on top of the blankets at Yuki's feet. Yuki was worried.

"Lenny, how much Red Bull have you had this morning?" His eyes roamed from the hyperactive F2 to the treats in front of him. "And what _is_ all of this? It's like all my favourite thi-"

"Entertainment!" He was practically yelling now, weighing the oft-read books in his palms and shuffling through them to view their titles. "1984, that one by Charlie Brooker, The Da Vinci Code – oh crap, man, remind me to pick up a new one of these the next time I'm in WHSmiths, before this copy falls apart..."

"Ummmm ... ?" Yuki was confused now. Lenny was going too fast. And he looked like he was holding half their household possessions.

"Oh, almost forgot!" He delved into the leg pocket of his jeans, face screwed up in concentration and then smoothing out into triumph when he fished a tiny mass of metal and wire from it. "Found your iPod, man! I synced it to your latest iTunes update on the laptop and y'know, added a couple of my own I'd like y'to listen to ..."

"iPod? Lenny, why'd you bring all this stuff, I should be getting out soon-"

"Clothes!" Lenny intoned quickly. The bespectacled boy was quite sick of being interrupted. "Right, that hospital gown looks like_ murder_, mate, so I've got a couple of plain T-shirts, your fluffy grey sweatpants, a long-sleeve black thh .. _thing_, your biggest hoodie, and those green pyjamas you love so much. Oh, and some clean pants."

"You've been through my _UNDERWEAR_?" The colour rose on his cheeks and he sat up poker-straight in mortification, mouth opening and closing in futility. "And what's with all this _stuff_? You really didn't have to, I mean-"

"Yuki." Lenny's tone was sharp, but superficially so. "I am simply doing a favour for a friend. I know you have only been here less than a week. And I understand everyone's concerns that you are a little fragile at the moment. Granted, you need some hot meals in you, and you're not exactly steady on your feet, but _still_. I have already had it up to _here_ with people treating you like an invalid. You can't just lie around bored all day, only allowed down the corridor with a helper and with access to only water and meds. It's just boring. So I'm bringing you some stuff to cheer you up, because I am your friend and that is what friends do. Is that alright with you?"

He finished with a heavy breath, his eyes steely and impassive though the tips of his ears glowed red. Yuki raised a hand mock-timidly, though it was only partly in jest.

"One question."

"Yes?" His tone was clipped.

"Can I start eating _now_?"

Lenny's face broke out into a huge grin and he slumped forward, relaxing against the table.

"'Course you can, you weirdo. But I'm joinin' ya, alright?"

He made his way round to the head of the bed as Yuki made to sit up and stopped halfway, breathing heavily through his mouth as if in pain.

"Woah, woah, woah there, y'alright man?" He had a gentle hand on each shoulder within seconds.

"My ... m-my chest," Yuki gasped, glasses foggy. "Feels tight ..."

"Okay, Yuki-man, come on," Lenny almost crooned, manoeuvring himself so that his hands were under his arms. His eyes still wide and panicked, he lifted his surprisingly solid friend slightly, pulling pillows into place behind him and then lowering him gently back onto the bed. "Y'okay now?"

Yuki tried to regulate his breathing; the pain had dissipated and the new upright position had alleviated the pressing on his lungs. He was perfectly fine now. But Lenny was right there, all wide-eyed with worry, ready to look after him ...

"My throat's a bit sore." He coughed. "Dry."

"Right," he lifted a glass from Yuki's bedside table and held it out to him. He coughed halfway through the sip and spluttered, the liquid spilling onto his chin and his eyes stinging. Lenny was right there, taking the cup from his hands and mopping at his face with the sleeve of his jumper. He held the polystyrene to Yuki's lips himself this time, and tipped his chin back gently with his index finger. Then he rechecked his pillows and climbed onto the bed. He sat opposite Yuki, mirroring his pose of straight back and crossed legs.

#####

Yuki looked on intently as Lenny started to arrange the food and drinks between them, babbling something about getting hold of ice cream, or something. He knew that with anyone else he'd of attempted to shift his stance and regulate his breaths and take that drink on his own; but with Lenny he didn't feel quite as embarrassed to display his vulnerability, his need (and sometimes just plain _want_) to be looked after for once. May had always been the motherly one of the group, and Yuki had been her little boy in a way, and they'd looked out for each other while Lenny and Kieron kept up their masculine image. But now May was the cause of the problems, the very root of the pain, and Lenny was just so _suited_ to caring. Yuki wasn't sure if it was the F2 overcompensating for the fight from before or just the reflex reaction of a good guy, but he'd been outstanding.

It was obviously an awkward situation to be in. The majority of people would have extreme difficulty ascertaining whether or not to be suitably solemn or attempt to brighten Dr Reid's mood, so his tactless friend was already doing admirably just by attempting this level of understanding. Yuki was almost tempted to exaggerate his pain and fear in the future, if it would give him this much insight into Lenny Lyons, and if it meant he got to see those expressions of concern and _gentility_ cross his usually arrogant countenance. The moments like these were times when, for a minute or two, all thoughts of May were absent, and all Yuki felt was a weary lust for recovery from her and a grateful tug of affection in Lenny's direction.

They were moments of very specific feelings and desires, and they held a beautiful clarity in Yuki's chaotic mind.

#####

Five hours that felt like twenty minutes later, Yuki felt loved.

They'd sat like that, cross-legged like little boys, for that long, laughing and sniping and nibbling through treats that Yuki hadn't realised he was hungry for until he got them. Lenny had neglected to mention that he'd also created a playlist of all the most dynamic, up-tempo songs on Yuki's iPod, and when he'd found it, the Scotsman had blushed and muttered something about 'brightening his mood'. He'd snatched the gadget back then, and they'd spent the rest of the day with it playing music quietly between them. Lenny would occasionally burst spontaneously into song, either loudly with air guitar or under his breath in a hushed, almost restrained manner; Yuki watched him and wished he had a good enough voice to join in, thinking somewhat wistfully of the pointless karaoke machine in his room at home.

"_But when I'm in doubt, I open my mouth,_

_And words come out,_

_Words come out like;_

_Baby there's a shark in the water,_

_There's something underneath my bed,_

_Oh please believe, I said;_

_Baby there's a shark in the water,_

_I caught them barking at the moon, _

_Better be soon."_

Lenny had a husky singing voice, slightly higher than one would have expected, but masculine all the same. Whilst raising a can of Sprite to his lips (Lenny had got two cans instead of one bottle, just how Yuki always had it), he'd jokingly muttered something about it being girly, and in return had received a punch to the shoulder so tentative it had felt more like a caress.

In fact, the magnitude of just how much the other man knew about him hit Yuki not just when he realised he'd remembered his drinking habits, but multiple times that day. The pyjamas he brought truly were his favourites, and all the other clothes were those that he wore to bed or on comfy Sundays. All the books were favourites as well, and Yuki thought they'd come in handy on the nights where he couldn't quite sleep, even if he was only supposed to be on the damn ward for another couple of weeks. And after jogging quickly off to find them a bowl, he'd emptied the muesli into it and picked out just the walnuts for himself, adamant that they take no chances in aggravating Yuki's _childhood _allergy to them.

The seventy-three seconds in which Lenny was gone to fetch the bowl left him strangely lonely.

#####

Nick Jordan pulled back the curtain to Yuki's cubicle to see not one, but two F2's on the bed. Eyebrows raised and lips quirked into a fond smile of fatherly approval, he observed Dr Lyons hugging knees brought up to his chin at the very end of the furniture, and Dr Reid with his head on propped-up pillows and his legs sprawled contentedly out in front of him. One hand was over his face, and he laughed at the story his friend was telling, amused and embarrassed in equal measure. Both young men yawned simultaneously, the arms stretching up above Yuki's head clad in a thick jumper over his hospital gown. Lenny's trainers were neatly arranged on the floor by the bed, body hunched and tired in jeans and a jumper, but neither boy's fatigue seemed able to interrupt the flow of conversation.

All thoughts of homelessness and Dr Phelps appeared completely foreign to Reid, and Lyons seemed utterly devoid of bravado or arrogance; not a trace of insecurity was detectable in either in that one moment.

#####

Lenny turned at the sound of Mr Jordan clearing his throat behind him, startled out of his laughter at Yuki's expression. The senior doctor smiled at the two briefly, his professionalism just about hiding a full-blown snicker. He gestured towards the turned man.

"A word with Dr Lyons, if that's alright, Yuki?"

Yuki nodded, but pulled the blankets further up over his torso and looked a little crestfallen all the same. Lenny glanced at him with sad eyes as he reluctantly got up off the bed. Smiling gently at his friend in place of a goodbye, he turned towards Jordan; stopped unexpectedly by a hand in his own, he looked back. Yuki's fingers were grasping at his own tightly, pale digits intertwined with freckled, calloused knuckles, one slipped slightly under the warm leather of Lenny's watch-strap. The accidental pressure against his wrist felt inexplicably comforting to him.

"Thank you," Yuki intoned meaningfully, eyes bright and lips set in a firm smile. "Thank you."

Lenny swallowed around another lump in his throat – they seemed to be occurring an awful lot recently, maybe he should get Charlie to have a look at him – and smiled a little less firmly back.

"S'nothing, pal," he replied, a little too gently to be entirely cock-sure. "I'll be back to see you tomorrow, okay?"

He left the cubicle before Jordan. The way Yuki's shoulders had relaxed and fallen assured him it was a promise.

#####

Strangely touched by the display he'd just witnessed, Nick closed the curtain slowly behind Lenny and faced him.

"It's nine o'clock, Dr Lyons," he noted quietly, eyebrows raised.

"Really?" The F2 seemed genuinely shocked, looking to first his own watch and then Jordan's, blinking in surprise. "Awwh, I'm sorry Doc, we completely lost track o'time, if I'd known visiting hours were over I'd have gone-"

"Don't worry, don't worry, Dr Reid looked as he was enjoying the company," he said warmly, shaking his head. "I just wanted to let you know before Tess or Charlie chucked you out. Just out of interest, what time did you get here?"

"'Bout eight o'clock this morning, I think," he answered sheepishly, tugging on his earlobe as he looked at a point somewhere over Jordan's shoulder.

"Wow. And on your only day off this week, as well!" Jordan smirked now, watching the usually nonchalant man squirm.

"Yeah, well ... Yuki's gotta come first, hasn't he?" Lenny mumbled, his cheeks pale pink under their freckles.

"Whatever you say, Dr Lyons," Jordan remarked, patting the trainee twice on the shoulder and then striding happily away. With one last glance at the curtain to the cubicle, Lenny walked off in the other direction, pulling his leather jacket on as a smile lit his eyes.

#####

Letting go of Lenny's hand, Yuki watched his back as he exited the cubicle, picking up his jacket on the way and slinging it over one red jumper clad shoulder.

_Red jumper ... ?_

After a few seconds of utter befuddlement, realisation dawned on him and he blinked behind his glasses. Lenny hadn't been in uniform. And, though Yuki hadn't been paying much attention to days, he was suddenly struck that it was Wednesday, it must be, and he clearly remembered Lenny moaning that Wednesday was his only day off this week, as the ED was under-staffed. Today was the other mans only free time for another seven days, another week packed with injuries and operations and early mornings. Lenny had given it all up for him.

Leaning back in the bed in both surprise and contentment, with a headphone in each ear, Yuki was glad that his 'thank you' had been so truly heartfelt.

#####

**Review please, any lovely readers ! I really want to make them properly romantic, but I feel they need a lot of development first, separately and together, so I'm trying my best to balance and not just write endless gratuitous ****smut**** schmoop. xPP**

**Hope some of you at least have enjoyed this chapter. =))**


	6. And When We Get Home

**A/N: Chapter 6 will be split into 2 parts, the first of which I have written and posted below, the second of which I haven't started writing yet, but I will do later today (either side of what I know from spoilers may be a slightly heartbreaking Casualty) and so shall hopefully soon have that posted too.**

**Both parts are based loosely on the song 'Franklin' by Paramore, and their titles are different lines from this song. **

**I'm not entirely happy with this, some of it seems a little rushed or forced, but this is sort of my fun, on-going fic, so I'm not too worried. I think it's alright. And I wanted it to serve a purpose; I hope it goes someway to highlighting why there's been a strange amount of touchy-feely-ness in previous chapters, and the awkwardness/lack of awkwardness when this has happened. A lot of it is quite confused and garbled, but a lot of it is Lenny POV, and I have pretty much written his train of thought here, no matter how nonsensical. That is the entire point of the confusion. As well as the attempted fusion of slight humour with the Hurt/Comfort. X]**

**Also, we have a flashback to the shower scene in S24E36 like we did with Yuki, but Lenny POV. I mean, come on, please tell me I was not the only one thinking things when Lenny was just standing there in that scene. I wasn't thinking "SMUT! SMUT! SMUT!", but there has to be a certain level of trust and awkwardness there, don't you think? ;DD**

**This scene may seem OOC for Lenny in this fic, but you will soon see that this is in character Lenny; he's had some random outbursts of gentle affection in previous chapters, but **_**this chapter **_**is pretty much the reason those outbursts have happened. I've tried not to be cliché, but ahh, I'm a desperate romantic, so basically, there is defiance and then sexiness and then sappiness and then weirdness, OK, because he is **_**confused**_**. Please don't kick me for bad chapter. **

**Yush, I did say sexiness up there, har har, did you notice? I don't think it's severe, but it is the first time I've strayed anywhere into this territory, so it may be bad, but whatever. Descriptions of a naked human body, nothing graphic, only gets as far as bums. And even that is pretty fleeting and averted, so it should be fine. Basically, a dash of quite strong UST, and the T rating I gave this story actually becomes necessary. I'm sure you'll love it. **

**There may be some chronological confusion in the italicised flashback section. I tried my hardest, but read carefully and you shouldn't get lost. I'm warning you because you are a valuable reader and I am slightly paranoid. (Also I got distracted by the images I was putting in my head.) :S :DD**

**On with the story ... **

Chapter VI; Part I – And When We Get Home, I Know We Won't Be Home At All

A week later, Lenny put his key in the door of the house at the end of his shift and Yuki walked in the door behind him. Zoe and Jordan had finally deemed him healthy enough to return home; sending the two of them away with strict instructions to Lenny to _look after him_, the severity of which slightly hindered by the strange knowing expression they both wore.

Yuki had been quiet on the journey home, but that was nothing unusual. He could often be very subdued at the best of times, and so Lenny wasn't too worried. He listened to his iPod on the way to the bus stop, and only glanced at Yuki every now and then to make sure he wasn't too worn out or cold, or about to have an emotional breakdown when they'd barely left the car park. He'd shoot the bespectacled boy a smile every other glance, and he'd always return them, if a little slowly. He looked pale and pinched, a little tired but ultimately happy. Lenny still kept the ear closest to the other boy headphone free, just in case. And about five minutes into their walk, he took the holdall Yuki had insisted on carrying himself and slung it over his own shoulder wordlessly, slowing to fall into step with his friend and putting a warm hand on his far shoulder.

Twenty minutes later they wandered up the front path to the door, Yuki's breaths catching a little in his throat from the short walk, his lungs truly wrecked by his time sleeping rough. He stared up at the house a little apprehensively, and Lenny automatically followed his gaze; he was staring at the window of May's room, his brow a little furrowed. Lenny frowned in response and moved swiftly to the door, opening it and standing just inside the doorway. He waited until Yuki had passed him across the threshold and then closed the door on their home, the noise a layered click that resonated briefly in the silence, strangely final.

Lenny didn't know if he was shutting them in, or if not, exactly who he was shutting out.

He dumped the holdall on the second step of the staircase and dropped his keys into the bowl on the side table, toeing off his shoes on his way to the kitchen. He heard Yuki move forward a little more awkwardly, heard him bend down and place them neatly on the shoe rack; it had always been a habit of his to tidy up after the Scot, though not always without complaint. He smiled slightly.

He flicked the kettle on out of instinct and turned to see his friend in the kitchen doorway, stock still and ramrod straight as if a visitor in a strangers home. The atmosphere was odd, he could concede. He hadn't fully realised until they both stepped in the door that it was just Yuki and Lenny now, that both Kieron and May didn't actually live here anymore. The few weeks that Yuki spent on the ward had left Lenny in a _shared _house all by himself, and he'd mostly spent it drinking tea and distracting himself by keeping his headphones in, purposely humming annoying songs to keep them in his head. He'd once taken out one of Yuki's textbooks and spent six hours straight trying to teach himself to list all the cardiovascular complications in surgery on a pregnant woman, _off by heart_; a half-arsed attempt to distract himself from plans regarding 'The Dealing with of May Phelps'. His anger at her had eventually dissipated into sympathy for Yuki, and his time at home became minimal, as he'd flit between work and visiting the other man, and then jog until the time came for a decent night's sleep. The prospect of sitting in the empty house, being _domestic_, seemed a little daunting. He wasn't quite sure why, but he had a feeling he and Yuki would have to get very domestic very quickly without the others.

Yuki was still fidgeting like a fish out of water, so Lenny finally dropped a line and grabbed two mismatched mugs from the cupboard, holding them up questioningly.

"Tea?"

Yuki shook his head minutely, scratching at the hollow of his throat. Lenny watched blankly as shaky fingers withdrew from the pale flesh and he swallowed, his Adams apple bobbing in his sinewy neck. Lenny furrowed his eyebrows and turned his gaze up to Yuki's glasses, and then abruptly back to the mugs now on the side board, turning away from the look in the other's eyes. He shook his head slightly. He'd really got into a habit of watching him closely recently. The amount of detail he read into his appearance was disconcerting.

"I'm, um ... I think I'm going to have a shower, and then .." he trailed off. Yuki's voice was quiet, a little hollow. Lenny didn't like it.

"Then takeaway?" Lenny questioned as neutrally as possible, chancing a glance at Yuki but not really looking. He saw him nod.

"Yeah, great." He still sounded very distant. Lenny took the milk out of the fridge and stared at the sell-by date, a little too intensely considering he'd bought the bottle that morning.

"Chinese or fish and chips?" he looked at him properly then, reaching blindly for the kettle. He smiled as gently and as naturally as he could manage. Yuki seemed to force his lips to quirk just slightly, and shrugged noncommittally.

"I .. whatever, you can decide," he almost whispered, his fingers at his neck again. He turned and sloped off down the hallway, walking up the stairs briskly.

The kettle sang and Lenny just stared after him, confused as to why this slight bad spell was worrying him so much. He'd been fine the last time he'd gone to visit (yesterday) and had been quite chirpy all day today, so it was obviously the house that was upsetting him. It was May. The absence of May, the knowledge that May would normally be there, or that her magazines would normally be strewn across the dining table, or that her shoes would normally be next to Yuki's Converses on the rack, not Lenny's trainers. Coming home had intensified the lingering feeling that _May was never coming back. _

There. He knew what was upsetting Yuki, and it was simple, and it would pass. End of story.

He splashed some milk into his mug and dropped in a tea bag, pouring the hot water and placing Yuki's back into the cupboard. He picked up a teaspoon and started stirring absent-mindedly, staring at the wall in front of him. The problem of his unnerving observance was still plaguing him.

When they'd been a group of three, and then a group of four, he'd never been very close to Yuki at all; they'd spoken to one another often, they had got on well, but he had never felt like he had a very close friend in him. The minute Jordan had told him what May had done though, the minute he'd confronted her and felt nothing but confusion at the tears in her eyes, at her attempt to lighten the mood, something changed. Suddenly, Yuki was his best friend and May had torn him apart, and that wasn't happening again. Suddenly, he was having difficulty holding eye contact or was holding eye contact _all the time_; when Yuki had grabbed his hand in front of Jordan and he'd thanked him like he'd saved a life, he'd been overcome with the sense of a job well done, rather than surprise that his mate was practically _holding his hand_. And now he was mincing his words (sometimes – he knew that the majority of the time he was still far happier than the situation really deemed appropriate, but before he poked fun at anything and everything, no matter how serious), and touching his shoulder, and looking at his neck. When in his life had it ever been important to observe the colour of a person's neck, when they were not lying in a hospital bed? Never. _Why_ was he looking at his neck?

He didn't think neck-staring was an obligatory part of protective concern, no matter how protective or concerned the practitioner was.

The knowledge of May's betrayal had opened his eyes to the real nature of her relationship with Yuki, had changed his actions and made him feel utterly _idiotic_ for not noticing something before. He'd pinned her jumpiness and detachment during the time Yuki was missing down to worry and nerves, not guilt, and her attitude towards his arrival to shock. She'd stood stock still, looked almost nauseous, as hospital staff wheeled Yuki through the corridors and Lenny had ran after them, laughter bubbling in his chest. He'd clapped Yuki roughly on the shoulder, had spouted what was essentially rubbish, and had grinned ear to ear, the only thought present being _Yuki is back_. Throughout the entire exchange with Adam and Charlie his face had slowly dropped and furrowed into frowns of confusion and concern, as he realised where Yuki had been and how ill he looked, how unresponsive. He'd never seen Yuki look truly lost before.

When Adam had called him away to deal with the lady from the car crash he'd followed reluctantly, his gaze flickering from F2 to F2 and his mouth slightly open in reproach. He didn't want to leave him. May was expressionless.

He scrubbed a hand over his face wearily, pulling up a chair at the kitchen table and sighing. He hadn't noticed _so much_. He'd ignored _so much_.

The bathroom door clicked shut loudly and then the shower sputtered to life upstairs, the spray muffled by distance. Oh, he'd missed _so much_ of what was going on at the ED, when Yuki was in the shower.

#####

_Water gushed from the fitting overhead, hitting Yuki's curls and snaking down over pale caramel skin, running in rivulets down his muscled back. Lenny remembered his friend sitting on the gurney in the emergency room, remembered how he'd fumbled with his top and Lenny had helped push the thin fabric back over firm, toned shoulders. He'd pulled another garment off himself, up and over his head, exposing his arms and abs, both of which were surprisingly strong and well formed. A tinge of jealousy spiked in Lenny that the bookworm had managed to hide such a physique without any of them being any the wiser; a strange feeling snaked underneath the envy, telling him he wasn't looking just because of his own scrawny arms. _

_The same feeling curled tight in him now, a crumpled knot in his gut, intertwined as it was with relief and confusion and concern. The glass was steaming around Yuki, the hot liquid turning his shoulders slightly pink and pooling on his top lip, flattening his thick hair to his scalp. This was his mate, his homeless, missing mate, back where he belonged, and Lenny was looking at the line of his neck where it met shoulder, the damp curls resting at its nape, outside of the showers direct spray. He was looking at the nostrils of his nose flare ever so slightly on every exhale as Yuki stared blankly at the tiles before him, the rise and fall of a sculpted chest. He was looking at his back, several tiny red scars from the skip and the street littering the otherwise blemish-free skin, all of them already almost healed. He was staring at the indent that indicated Yuki's spine, snaking down his back and curving in just over half way down, tapering down to where his torso met his backside. He didn't look any further down than that. Yeah, he was _definitely_ paying _way_ too much attention now._

_He looked at his own shoes and prayed that Yuki was as mentally far away as he seemed to be. To an outside observer it could look very much like he was being a little perverted. In reality, he was cataloguing information about his appearance, but he didn't for the life of him know why it was suddenly so important, now, when Yuki was naked in the shower. He didn't shift at all, didn't scrub himself, he just stared forward. Lenny continued to stare at his shoes. _Way_ too observant._

_May approached him from the right and he looked up. She was still wearing that awkward expression of concern, the one verging on vacancy, as if she was worried, but she just wasn't expressing it in any definable way. He hadn't known then that it was guilt, that it was the knowledge that Yuki was in this state because of her. She was clutching at a hospital gown, shoulders slightly hunched, and he just looked at her. It was her boyfriend, after all. She must've been taking it a little difficultly. And he hadn't just been checking her boyfriend out. Checking him over, yes. But nothing else. Obviously._

"_How is he?"_

_She probably thought he might have spoken, might have said something to Lenny whilst getting him over here. He hadn't even nodded or shaken his head. He'd stared at some point just to the right of Lenny's face and sort of listened. Lenny had turned the shower on and left the door open, stepping back and depositing the large white towel he'd brought on the radiator. He politely looked the other way as Yuki pulled himself up out of the wheelchair (he'd been a little shaky on his feet) and braced one arm against the wall, fumbling behind him with one hand, trying to undo the ties on his hospital gown. After a while he looked back over and saw Yuki had both hands by his sides, and he was faced in Lenny's direction. He wasn't looking at him, just turning his face so his gaze fell on the area at Lenny's feet. He realised that his friend's palms were quivering slightly. He couldn't do it himself; his hands were shaking too much._

_He looked utterly defeated._

_Lenny had stepped forward slowly, coming to a stop a little closer than he'd predicted, and reaching for the ties closer to his shoulders, higher up on the gown's back. His own fingers trembled, and he clenched his fists, quieting them. Taking the knot between his hands, his knuckles brushed Yuki's skin and he flinched away, inhaling. Lenny didn't know why, but in that one moment, he'd suddenly been terrified. _

"_Sorry," he'd murmured, and his breath ruffled the curls at Yuki's nape. The other man's shoulders fell slightly, calmer, and he started working the knot free, own shoulders tense with the care not to touch him again. The air suddenly felt very thin, and the steam from the shower seemed very hot. The white noise effect of the water on the floor matched the frequency of Lenny's brain. He couldn't think of anything but not slipping up. The knot was undone, and for some reason, he wasn't breathing. _

_He moved to the further down tie, the tight one Yuki had been struggling with, and pulled it towards him so he couldn't brush his hands over anything again. Yuki dropped his head forward and Lenny could tell that he felt pathetic. He wanted to be able to do this for himself. He was shaking because he was holding something in. If only he'd known then what it was, what he'd of had to say to May when she arrived._

_The tie was at the small of Yuki's back, where caramel skin met the dark of black cotton boxers, clinging to the curve of ..._

"_Rebooting, I think. Crackin' bit of medicine he pulled off today, eh?" he said in reply to May's question, quickly, voice a little gruff. Observing was one thing, but dwelling was worse. He couldn't dwell. He _hadn't_ been checking out her boyfriend. "Yup ... Hate to say it Yuki-boy, but you finally put us two in the dark!"_

_He'd looked off into the middle distance then, a small smile tugging his lips. He had his back to Yuki and his voice raised, and he wondered if he could even hear him. May stood for a moment, sighed, and then thrust the new gown at Lenny, leaving quickly. He let it fall into his hands, staring down at the crumpled fabric, and then looking back over his shoulder._

_Yuki hadn't moved at all. Lenny swallowed._

_When he'd untied the second knot he'd stepped back and away quickly, crowding thoughts out of his head and feeling a little guilty. Yuki's arse? Seriously? No. Just, no. He'd faced the other way again, and after a minute, heard the shower door close and the sound of the water's stream change. He'd breathed out, and put a hand to his face. _

_Now, Yuki turned off the taps and rested his forehead against the silver shower fitting, closing his eyes as a shiver ran through him, cold metal slightly startling after the heat of the water. Lenny came forward and slung the towel and gown over the top of the shower door for him, only just about managing to drag his eyes away from a droplet running down over his collarbone. He gathered up Yuki's underwear and the old gown and bundled them together on the wheelchair, standing with his back to Yuki and waiting._

_After a couple of horrible minutes of near-silence, with no more than his own shaky breaths, Yuki's deep, warm exhalations and some wet little drips of liquid hitting cheap white lino, the sound of drying began. Quick, sweeping strokes of softened towelling against reddened, heated skin. Lenny almost groaned in despair. That was even worse. Why did it even matter? Why was it suddenly on his radar now? Had he really missed Yuki _that_ much?_

_Swifter, scratchier movements as the hair was scrubbed at, that imaginary itch from earlier never quelled. A swipe at the water clinging to the back of his neck – _neck_, again – and two rapid rubs up and down damp legs. Rustling, the gown was on. Clicking, the door opened, and then there was another noise. _

"_Could you ..." _

_Lenny turned and Yuki was actually looking at him, properly, and he kind of wished he wouldn't. It was difficult. He'd left the question hanging to such an extent that it had just tapered off into two words, together, that didn't make any sense. Lenny understood. He wanted – no, he didn't want, he _needed_, and he hated it – help again. One hand was holding the backless gown together behind him, and he stepped out of the shower, turning to close the door. Lenny grimaced briefly, cursing himself. Backless. Backless?_

_Yuki turned again and came towards him with his eyes cast down, probably just as mortified as Lenny, but God knows what about. In hindsight, he'd probably been too hurt to register much of the embarrassment, but a little was there. He was a very private person._

_His feet had squeaked on the tiles with moisture. A little too much moisture. Two, three, four steps and then Yuki stumbled, slipping on the smooth floor and falling forward and then to the side. Quickly, Lenny had lurched forward and put a hand on his back and an arm around his waist, supporting him, and pulling him upright again. His brain had then promptly shut down. _Oh, shit.

_He now had his chest pressed up against Yuki's back, and a damp, warm male was pressed up against his front, bare arse and all. He was actually going to kill himself. _

"_Y'alright?" he'd forced out, throat tight and face slack and _Christ_, what the hell was he doing?_

_Yuki just nodded._

_He stepped back and laced him up, quick, shaky, loose knots held far away from Yuki's back, his eyes on the back of his head so that they could be nowhere else. His entire front felt warm and damp, but Yuki had been nearly entirely dry, so he didn't look wet. He let go of the strings and Yuki put himself in the wheelchair, sinking back into it; the tension in his form still present when imitating a slouch. He ran a hand up through thick dark hair and its wetness kept it off of his face. Lenny took the wheelchair and pushed it out of the room, breathing laboured and face flushed pink._

#####

He was staring into a cup of cold tea, blushing at the memory. Wow. Wow, he really needed to stop being observant, and he needed to stop now. Yeah.

Abandoning his mug, he put his face in his hands and groaned, dejected and annoyed. Why had he reminded himself of that day? He'd sworn he was going to forget it, that it had just been a lapse in sanity, that he was back to caring friend Lenny, and that was that. But now he'd remembered it, there was no denying it, no denying that there would now be awkwardness in his head. There was something really weird going on. One minute he was bringing Yuki supplies, and checking his temperature, and making sure he slept, and being generally over protective, and the next, he was just _looking _at him. Why?

He opened his eyes and fished his mobile out of his pocket, calling the fish and chip shop.

#####

**Please drop a review and enjoy! :]]**

**Oh, and I have plans and explanations for Lenny in Chapter 7; revelations in this fic are not quite as linear as they could be. Basically, interpret the fic as you do and across the coming sections you will probably get a clearer perception of character motives and attitudes. :]**

**Aside from that, if you're confused, it's because they're confused! Big time. (I know, that makes me sound like a crappy writer with a bad excuse, but I'm sorry. I was tired and I needed to write slash and then THIS JUST HAPPENED). xPP**

**Ging xx**


	7. Going Back to Get Away

Chapter VI; Part II – Going Back To Get Away, After Everything Has Changed

Hot foamy water cascaded over tense muscles, loosening and calming, as images, memories, flitted through Yuki's mind. Lenny was downstairs, making tea, sitting in the kitchen; Lenny was in his head too, a past Lenny, a different Lenny, and it just didn't seem _right_ ...

_Blue eyes were cast in the other direction as you shakily rose, tendons twitching and throat dry. His shoulders were tense, his jaw had been tight, why? Expression vacant, eyes dazed, was it something you did?_

_Hand against the wall, slipping and sweaty, hand at your own back, fumbling and fake. Couldn't do it, knots too tight, knees too weak, Lenny too close, why were you nervous?_

_Different, May's different, you hadn't seen them in ages. Lenny's worried, May's worried, May was always worried, always about to be found out. You should never have trusted her, never have tried, she was like that from day one, but she'd softened, she'd stuck around. You thought she'd maybe changed, maybe the marks and the revision didn't mean so much anymore, maybe she genuinely liked you now, genuinely wanted _you_. Fake, fake, fumbling and fake, and she's guilty and she's going, you could tell. Lenny wasn't going, wasn't going anywhere, was blue-eyed and tight-jawed and happy and worried and behind you. _

_Your eyes were on his trainers, your strength was out the door, and his sympathy didn't feel patronising, his breath was harsh like yours. Something was off, something had changed, running away was never a good plan, and he was behind you, and everything had changed. _

_Knuckles on your back and you flinched, you couldn't think like that, it didn't work like that, he was a friend, is a friend. He was helping because no one else would. He stilled and he was the same for a moment, maybe, or maybe just lost, perhaps confused at your inhale, your twitch. Apology blew against your skin and he didn't know, wasn't the same, didn't see that his touch was like voltage. Lenny never was like May. _

_Fumbling and _fearful_, he was pulling at the knots, he was swallowing behind you like his throat had caught like yours, what was wrong, why were they blue, why was his jaw tight? Pulling at the other knot, moving back away, he wasn't looking, he was worried, and the door clicked shut. _

_White tiles, racing raindrops, you've looked at this bit before, hated her already, loved her through the steam. Her voice was high and his was gruff, and neither thought you heard them, but you knew that both did care. __You glanced around a minute later, no ponytail of light blonde hair. Taps turned off, forehead forward, and shivers ran through you, liquid dripped and you were getting cold. _

_Towel and gown slung over the door, Lenny turned his back. You breathed, and waited, and then dried, and your eyes were on him, his feet were shuffling. His shoulders were brought up high. The gown came back on, and you really didn't like it. The door clicked open, and your voice box worked._

"_Could you ..."_

_You shuffled over. You slipped._

_Lenny was surging forwards, you knew it as you fell._

_Lenny had one pale arm round your waist._

_Lenny had a large, firm hand on your back._

_Lenny was pressed up all along you, hard, heaving chest, cheap turquoise polyester, cold metal stethoscope, bony, nudging knees._

"_Y'alright?" Lenny whispered it against your face ..._

No.

Lenny was downstairs, calling for takeaway, putting the kettle on, setting out plates, checking TV channels.

Yuki unclenched his hands and smoothed away the shampoo, hands carding quickly and carefully through locks, across his burning scalp. Cleanliness and Lenny were his only constants at home. A hospital ward had meant clinical efficiency and stark white scheduling, had meant Mr Jordan and May, had meant visitors, mealtimes, empty, liquid showers. Cleanliness and Lenny were his only constants. Tea and food were never guaranteed, never for certain. There were only two of them now after all, only two of them paying for rent, for groceries, for the hot water bill. Ah. Cleanliness. Maybe Lenny was the only constant now.

Lenny was a nod and a smile, and a hand on his shoulder. Lenny never was like May.

#####

**As you may have noticed, I was supposed to post this months ago. *sheepish***

**However, I was trying to finish it, to add more. I think I'll just leave it as it is, and then fill in what I want for the next part in a PART 3 OF CHAPTER 6, to keep it all split more efficiently. No guarantee when that'll be up, as I don't know what I want to happen now. :S**

**Also, hope you enjoyed Yuki's monologue, it was more fractured and poetic and repetitive because his thoughts are less clear than Lenny's; he was viewing it all whilst still numb, or still in pain. If you review, please leave a comment on how well you think that style of writing worked. :)**


End file.
